The coming Monster Moon in Libra means that I have to write a personal post today because my feelings are consuming me. My partner is about to leave me, but that’s OK.
You heard me. I said, that’s OK. It’s OK.
You may not know, but there is a Monster Moon in Libra next week, on March 27th. My partner and I are both Librans, and he is moving out tomorrow after being together for two years. Each day this week he has been removing items of furniture from the house, taking one piece at a time, leaving another hole in my apartment, another hole in my life. It has been so awful and tortuous I am having a hard time coping.
But it’s a good thing.
There is a Monster Moon next week
I have decided that I need to move on from this relationship and next week’s Monster Moon in Libra is making sure that this is happening.
Yes, it’s a story that you’ve heard all too often these days. I have to move on because I have decided that this relationship is not going anywhere. It’s the same old chestnut. I am 34 and my partner is 48. I want us to get married and have kids and buy a house. He wants to be a rock star. Yes, I’m serious.
To be clear here, my partner is the most wonderful, talented musician, and he has had some taste of fame before, and he has been in professional bands and has been a salaried musician. But this post is not about him. He is not my problem. I am my problem. It is not his fault that I want to have a baby and he doesn’t. He should have no obligation to provide me with something I alone desire.
Having a Baby is not a transaction
Not that it’s a typical transaction. Not that it’s something you can discuss like buying a car or a house. The truth is, we are not stable enough as a couple to make this happen, and he is right to refuse my pleads, my requests, my dreams/demands depending on who you ask. I can’t make him want this. All I can do is be true to what I want and be brave.
Astrologer Susan Miller says that it is the Monster Moon in Libra making me push for these changes now. “If I had a dollar for every girl who told me that they stayed in a relationship, 6, 8 10 years hoping that the proposal would come. So sometimes you have to create a situation where you say, “I’m going to leave if this is not going to lead somewhere.” If it’s important to you. Not everybody wants to get married. Not everybody wants to have children, but some do.”
In my home, this move feels sudden, but it has been brewing for a long time: Miller says, “These hard aspects kind of wake us up to it sooner. But the universe wants us to be productive. I see it over and over…that our time on Earth has to count for something.”
Hard Astrological Aspects make us make Tough Choices
Hard aspects making me move on? When I read that this morning, I nearly fell off my chair! This is exactly what I am going through. I am quite beside myself. I still love my partner, I love his so much. I am totally crazy about him. But he does not want what I want. He says he does, but in a roundabout, “Yeah, I’ll get there one day” sort of way. His nonchalance with his life and goals drives me crazy.
I am beside myself that he is leaving. And he is leaving because I tell him to, repeatedly. My heart knows that I will not get what I desire from this relationship. Susan Miller seems to feel the same way. She says she sees it all the time. “I was thinking about love and looking closely at people around me. And sometimes the answer about love is driven by our behaviour, not the other person’s behaviour. And it’s totally unconscious. And you can see it – you can see it around you. That people are sending the message out that I don’t really want this relationship. And yet they’re hurt when the person leaves.”
And my boyfriend is leaving me!
Why am I so hurt that he is leaving? Isn’t this what I have been asking for?
“So we first have to square off our own intentions, our own expectations. And be clear to ourselves about what we hope will happen. And if it doesn’t, have the courage to keep moving on.”
Another astrologer Urban Soul Flower comments here on the Monster Moon: “Full Moons symbolize opposition. The opposite of Aries is Libra. The lesson here is us (Libra) Vs. me (Aries) Relationships may be challenging during this time as we figure out where people play a role in our lives, and if we want them sticking around. these relationships can be professional or personal. The Asteroid Ceres is at 0 degrees Cancer touching the t-Square involving the Sun in Libra, Pluto in Capricorn and the Sun/Uranus in Aries. Ceres is associated with nurturing, self-worth as well as issues of abandonment.”
Please, if are reading this, say a little payer for me and my partner and wish us both the best in this difficult time. All I want is for him to be happy and safe and I want the best for both of us. It’s so very hard and all these emotions get in the way of my better judgement.
“Why Am I so scared of losing you when you are not even mine?”