Love Relationships

What do men find attractive in women when looking for a partner?

May 15, 2017February 25, 2019 by Alyce Vayle One Comment

As humans, there is one thing we all have in common: we all want to be loved. Since the beginning of time, men and women have been trying to work out what it is about the opposite sex that we find most attractive. What traits are most appealing and how can we authentically enhance and show off these traits?

I have written before about what the “most attractive age” is, and whether women and men are most attractive at age, 30, 40 or 50 (and beyond) based on studies I have read. I have also written about what body parts men and women find most attractive in their partners. But the truth is; attractiveness can be elusive and mysterious. The good news is that we are all attractive; we all have assets that make us desirable; physical, mental and spiritual. No one is completely “unattractive”. It’s all about how you play on your desirable assets.

Lots of studies online focus on what women want and today we’re going to flip the coin and assess what traits most men find attractive in women. A recent article in The Daily Mail covered this topic and you might be surprised by some of the results.

What do men find attractive in women when looking for a partner? — Image: Rooftop Romance, 1947

All men are different, and what they find attractive in women is also different

Of course, every man has his preferences, but there are some common traits that are almost universal, and the good news is that they rarely have to do with “superficial traits” such as long hair, youth or a slim body. There is a common belief that men need only the external beauty of women. Although, recent studies have revealed something deeper: modern men pay more attention to the intrinsic quality of women and their character traits. If you’re dating, here are some dating tips for you.

What do men find attractive in women? The 7 most attractive female qualities

#1: Tenderness

This is a great place to start and the good news is that anyone can learn to be more tender. Some experts have said that, “Most men don’t get a sufficient amount of love and affection from women in the modern world,” due to the fact that women in the last couple of decades pay a lot of attention to their career.

Some men say that they find that women today simply do not have time to show any tenderness towards men. So, if you are looking to attract a wonderful, caring man who perfectly understands you, concentrate on men’s need of affection, tenderness and care. If you do this, the experts say that you’ll never be without fans who will seek your favour in every possible way. Men subconsciously want a woman who is able to give them a gentle and caring attitude. It’s really not that hard.

#2: Sociability

Again, what men find attractive is nothing that mysterious. Men like sociable ladies who can talk about their work and friends, hobbies and other interests in an exciting way. Be genuine and open, but avoid talking about “ex-boyfriends”, as well as about your shortcomings or failures in detail. Men tend to love positivity. Personally, I am often accused of being “overly negative”. I often think I am being “realistic” but my partner might not see it this way. Aim to tell a man everything that describes you in the best way without false modesty. Strike the right chord between boastfulness and pride and you’ll be well on your way. Authenticity is the key.

#3: Attractive appearance

Ok, we have to get real here for a second. Men are visual creatures. Check out the US study on Gender Difference in Brain Activation to Audio-Visual Sexual Stimulation, it’s a real eye-opener. The study shows that it is undeniable that for many men the attractive appearance of a woman becomes the thing that initially draws them in.

However, this does not mean that men pay attention only to models and “classically” beautiful women; the most important aspect of attractiveness for them is a well-groomed appearance, and a woman’s level of confidence. Learn to play on your assets, whether you have gorgeous hair, a curvy figure, beautiful hands or just about anything else you can play on. Be confident at all times (or try to be!)

#4: Sex appeal

All men like women who are not afraid of their sexuality and confidence in your sexuality becomes really attractive in the eyes of others. Sexual attraction has to come from the inside, from the feeling that you are a real woman who is able to captivate the hearts of men. Not everyone is a naturally sexual person, and that’s OK. But sex is an important part of the dating process.

Learn what “makes you tick”, learn what you find sexually attractive about men and what turns you on. Start with the small things and build on them. Believe it or not, sex appeal is something you can learn! Listen to music that makes you feel sexy. Wear perfume if you are attracted to scents, or treat yourself to some sexy lingerie. You’re worth it!

#5: Understanding

Men also like when women treat them with understanding. When dating, aim to find someone where you can share their hobbies; whatever they are. Men love gentle and caring women who they can rely on a difficult situation. Learn to be a great listener, and make sure you are non-judgmental. It sounds obvious, but men are people too! Treat them with the same kindness that you’d hope to be treated with. Don’t seize on someone’s flaws and tear them down at any opportunity. Learn to be as understanding as you can.

#6: Uniqueness

Good news for women, men love your unique personal qualities! These are (of course) the important factors that distinguish one woman from another. Every woman can learn to work on her individual charms. What makes you different to everyone else? What do you most love about yourself? Learn to concentrate on these things when you’re in the dating game and don’t be afraid that your little quirks will turn people off. Your uniqueness is what makes you “you”. Be different and don’t be afraid to be brave. Confidence is key here. If there is something you love about yourself that makes you stand out, play on this when you’re out to meet someone who shares your unique take on life.

#7: Intelligence

The Daily Mails spoke to a matchmaker who said, “When it comes to emotional traits, men named intelligence as the most attractive followed by femininity and playfulness.” Contrary to popular belief, most men want to find a life partner who is their intellectual equal; a clever and intelligent woman.

For a long, serious relationship that goes the distance, a woman has to be confident with her intelligence. Smart women are a huge turn on for most men; they’re not necessarily threatened by it. “Men need to converse with a woman. They need to feel that she can have some sort of intellectual conversation, this is really important to a guy.”

Finding your ideal match

So, the good news is that out of these 7 qualities, you’re likely to already possess them all, it’s just how you learn to play on them when you’re dating that makes the difference when attracting a suitable partner. The things men find attractive are usually very similar to what women find attractive in men. Be who you really are. Be authentic and truly love yourself and you’ll attract the right sort of attention to men when you’re in the dating game. All the best in your search!