10 quick ways to lose weight (2 kilos or 5 pounds) in 2 days

Really, I think you’re beautiful just as you are but if you need to lose some weight very quickly, I have a few tips for you. Most of these are not that healthy for you, although I maintain that you’ll be fine, so long as you do them for the recommended time only, and no longer. Also, I am not a nutritionist or a health professional, just a regular Jane like you.

Also, if you have any health problems, I would recommend losing weight in a more conventional way and consulting your doctor. Anyway – here are 10 ways to lose 5 pounds or 2 kilos in 2 days. Good luck.

  1. Better underwear

This tip is safe for everyone. Go out and buy yourself some expensive, well-fitting underwear and wear it. Decent underwear can shave inches off your figure. Also, most women change sizes every few months – the bra that fit you in January may need refitting in June.

  1. Juice fast

Personally, I am not a huge fan of juice, however, if you have the will of steel then consuming nothing but juice will see you drop the pounds or kilos fast. Limit yourself to fresh, homemade juices, and only have 3 or 4 a day, not more.


  1. Total fast

Regardless of what most people say, a total fast is not a recipe for bad health and sickness. People have been fasting since the beginning of human history. It takes will power, but it is possible. My longest ever fast was 5 ½ days – that’s with nothing consumed except herbal tea and water.

  1. Lemon + cayenne detox (Master Cleanse)

Called the Master Cleanse and yep, I have done this one too. Basically, you eat nothing and drink a concoction of lemon and cayenne pepper. You are supposed to do it for 10 days in a row, but after the first 2 you want to eat your coffee table. If you want to lose weight fast, this works, but you’ll gain the weight back. Read about the diet here.

  1. Apple cider vinegar

I have written about this too. Simply take a shot-glass full of apple cider vinegar before you eat your meals. It’s pretty awful stuff and usually puts you off your food. In order for this to work as quickly as 2 kilos in 2 days, you’ll have to really restrict what you eat in general. 3 tiny meals a day only.

  1. Fruit only

You can eat anything except for bananas and you still need to limit yourself to 3 meals a day. Remember this is only for 2 days, so try to keep your willpower up. Acidic fruits are great, especially grapefruit and pineapple. Eat large meals so you feel full, but stop eating after 15 minutes.


  1. Total protein

Sort of like the Atkins diet, this quick fix means you can eat 3 small meat meals per day, for 2 days. Limit yourself to plain meat, cooked in olive oil or roasted under the grill. Fish is awesome, steak is fine. Avoid sausages, rissoles and meatballs.

  1. Sweat it out

Head to the sauna and spend as long as you can there. Unlike these other tips, this one can be harmful if you don’t follow the instructions. If you want to be safe in a sauna, go somewhere that is well maintained, that has an attendant and follow these sauna safety rules.

  1. Break up with someone you love

I don’t recommend this, of course, but it does work. Last time I broke up with someone, I could barely eat at all – however it turned out to be the best decision of my life because I am now engaged to the most wonderful, loving, handsome man in the world. My ex was a total dickhead – and being with him was the biggest mistake of my life. If you’d like to know more about my ex – read my most popular post 7 Signs that You’re Dating an Asshole.

Ever since that asshole walked out of my life, my world has gotten better every day. I only wish that the asshole had left me earlier – because the 2 years I spend with him were the most miserable of my life. Even thinking about him now makes my skin crawl. He was such a bad person and stole and cheated from everyone from his family to his friends and even charitable organisations. Biggest. Douche. Ever.

  1. Celery diet

Whew, now that I have that off my chest – back to losing weight in 2 days. Here’s the last tip – eat nothing but celery for 2 days. The only good thing about this diet is that you can eat as much as you like. Remember, it’s only for 2 days. Good luck!

A final note on losing weight fast

As I mentioned, do any of these but only for a maximum of 2 days. Don’t do them if you’re sick, pregnant, have health complications or if you have diabetes. It’s fine to move around, work and exercise too, but be sensible. And one final note – as I said, I am not a health professional, but I have done most of these myself. Best of luck!

  1. Jamie
    July 11, 2015

    Ur a bitch

    1. Jamie
      July 11, 2015

      Jk bitch

    2. July 13, 2015

      Jeez – harsh comment Jamie. What’s your problem?

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