My big boobs: Why they’re not as great as you think

My big boobs: Why they’re not as great as you think

My big boobs might look great, but there are things about them that mean they can be difficult to deal with. I just went and spent a whole bunch of money on something I really needed: new knickers and bras. I have double D boobs – that’s code for “big”. My body is a medium size ten and my bust is not out of proportion, but I am definitely a busty woman: I have been informed that “Baby Got Front”; I am the proud owner of some “Lovely Lady Lumps” and I can’t leave the house without “Aunty Barbara”.

Teen tits, bra inspo and the books of Judy Blume

When I was a teen Judy Blume was all the rage. I had her book Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret which traces a twelve year old’s progression through puberty, including growing breasts and getting her period. I remember that my year five teacher, Miss Taylor, read the book aloud to our class over the course of a few weeks or months.

Girls are hitting puberty younger

I was obsessed. At age 11 I was already starting to get a bust, and I also started my periods. I didn’t feel young at all, and I couldn’t wait to reach womanhood. There are studies that indicate now that girls are reaching puberty earlier, with some starting as early as seven or eight years old. A nine year old girl in Mexico just gave birth to a baby last week.

CNN reports that, “More than 10 percent of white 7-year-old girls in the study, which was conducted in the mid-2000s, had reached a stage of breast development marking the start of puberty, compared to just 5 percent in a similar study conducted in the early 1990s”.

Experts are not entirely sure what is causing this phenomenon, with everything from hormones to obesity and preservatives being blamed. I am not sure if my big boobs were because of this.

Read my updated post: Comfortable bras vs. Sexy bras | Finding comfort for your boobs

My mum’s boobs

Going back to Judy Blume – I also had her “Teen Diary” which was a great way for the publishers of her book to make more money off their wilting teen audience. It was basically a blank book filled with questions about your teenage goals and dreams, with many splatterings of stars, hearts and sparkles across the pages.

There was one section I remember well, you had to list positive attributes of both your parents (it was the early nineties so the publishers assumed kids to have a mother and a father who were likely to be married) and then you had to list which three of the attributes you admired in them you’d like for yourself. I remember what I put as top of the list for my mother.

I would like to be BUSTY like my mother

Little did I know that it would be annoying and unfashionable. Yes, you heard me. Big boobs are unfashionable. I have no idea why anyone would want to get a boob job when having a large bust prevents you from wearing certain things, and can be challenging for dressing. Since that time, my big boobs have evolved and changed.

My big boobs: Why they’re not as great as you think
Yes: these are Alyce’s real boobs. As of 2018 they are being put to good use breastfeeding Baby Obelia

Big boobs are not fashionable

I remember a great quote from Paris Hilton (remember her?) where she spoke very highly of her smaller bust line. “I like how mine are, I don’t like big boobs,” she said, comparing her breasts to Jessica Simpson, saying that Jessica’s larger chest is unattractive.  “I think they’re too … big,” she said.

Big costs for big busts

So anyway, I just spent a whopping $159.90 on two simple bras. When you have bigger boobs, you need to spend money on quality, because anything inefficient will not be comfortable. If I find a bra that I like, I usually go out and buy two. Plus I need to buy new bras every six months, because my boobs put the poor things through hell- the fabric and clasps have to work very hard just to keep things together.

A bra for every occasion

I even wear a bra around the house, because it’s uncomfortable not to. I even have a series of “house bras” which are softer and more comfortable than my work bras. Then I have lacy “going out bras”, matching underwear sets for when I need to look sexy and then a couple of hard-core, industrial-strength, double-reinforced sports bras, without which I would be able to run without knocking myself out.

What I need in a bra:

  • No padding
  • Thick straps (but not old lady)
  • Underwire
  • Triple clasps at the back
  • Tightly adjustable straps
  • Balconette separation for my boobs
  • No itchy, cheap fabric

What do you like in a bra? Is it different to me? Please tell me in the comments below!


  1. February 28, 2013

    I can relate to this! I’m like a C but possibly D now since I’ve gained some weight. I HATE having to buy bras. They are expensive, rarely fit right, and only last a small amount of time before they literally come apart. The cute ones don’t have enough support and all in all wearing a bra all the time is pretty uncomfortable! Thanks for posting this! I def feel your pain!

    1. February 28, 2013

      You are right! I can’t get over how expensive bras are – some nearly $100! It’s a major purchase and the cheap ones just don’t work. I wear out sports bras the fastest – the clasps always tear and the straps stretch, but I absolutely can’t run without one.

  2. April 4, 2013

    I think Judy Blume would love your post 🙂 Very much in the vein of the way she writes and thinks.

    1. April 19, 2013

      there’s been a bit of a resurgence with the ol’ Judy Blume. I loved her stuff!

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