So, how sexy are you – really? Sexiness is something that doesn’t come naturally to some – but the good news is – there are many ways to “fake it” and convince the object of your desire that you are god’s gift to man (or woman) kind. Here, we examine what sexiness is and how you can get more in your life.
We all have our “off days” and when we do, we often feel like we’re not sexy at all.
What is sexiness? How to make people think you’re sexy
Sexiness is something that sits outside of you – it is a commodity that others subscribe to you, something that’s predetermined to an extent, and “out of your control”. That doesn’t mean it’s something to be afraid of – you can control others’ perceptions of you – almost as easily as you can change/update and delete information on your resume.
You should be doing a “sexiness check” every six months – like fitting a bra or asking for a wage reviewed. It’s an essential part of life – like it or lump it, “As the saying goes”.
Make people think you’re sexy, but what do men find sexy?
To uncover this, I needed to consult the experts. Surprisingly, the very first answer I came up with (from Ask Men) is moderate neuroticism! According to the experts, women are more prone to anxiety than men, so finding a mate who is “excessively anxious (or highly neurotic)” may “report less satisfaction with their relationships than women who score lower on this trait.” The ability to empathise was also valued highly.
Being playful rated highly on dating website eHarmony. “Women who take themselves too seriously are seriously not sexy,” according to the online surveys they have done. “There’s something about a woman who is comfortable enough to be playful, flirty, and not worry that she is risking her reputation.”
What do women find sexy?
I have blogged about this before, check out What Makes a Man Hot – The Definitive List. Personally I like good arms and shoulders and men who can speak another language or men in uniform! eHarmony says that talent goes a long way and Ask Men says that men who pay attention to their appearance may score more dates than those who do not. They also suggest loving animals and being good in the kitchen – yep, I would agree with that.
4 things to work on to feel sexier
Nothing is more sexy than confidence – if you are low on it, cultivate it. Do 5 minutes of “mirror work” each morning, connect with yourself and mentally go over your positive points.
If you’re not feeling your best, you will struggle to feel sexy. Make sure your diet is as good as possible, that you’re drinking lots of water, getting enough sleep and exercise.
Believe that you’re sexy and you’re halfway there. Generate a positive mindset where you seek to empower yourself to do your best at every task. Believe in a better future for yourself.
No one expects you to be a supermodel, but taking care of your appearance is one way to make you feel sexy. Brush your hair, have a clean face and clothes and pay attention to your shoes and jewellery.
10 quick “feel sexy now” tips
1) Take a walk
Allure Magazine says, “A study from McMaster University in Canada found that the more steps you clock in a day, the better you’ll feel about your body.”
2) Mess up your hair
Well, why not? Allure also suggests fluffing up the roots of your hair with your fingers “to prevent it from being flat—this simulates what would happen naturally if you were rolling around in bed.” Worth giving this a shot!
3) Get some sun
Notice how you feel so much sexier after a day at the beach? Soak up some of that awesome Vitamin D and give your sexy- factor a kick start.
4) Embrace yourself
I love this piece of advice from Your Tango, “Grab onto whatever bits you tend to consider your “problem” and tell that flesh, out loud, that you love, cherish, respect and honour it, and let it know that it’s absolutely perfect just the way it is.” How lovely is that?
5) Do something that scares you
Personally, I am not one for daredevil acts, but I do think that bravery and “taking the plunge” in life is important. Learn new skills and back yourself, even when you feel low.
6) Pamper yourself
An easy and quick way to feel sexier is to do something pampering. Get your hair or nails done, buy a cool cap or new tie. Give yourself a facial or your face a shave. Take 10 minutes out for “you”.
7) Buy yourself something nice
My personal favourite – treat yourself monetarily. Make sure you spend within your means and buy yourself something luxurious, dammit. Go for quality over quantity – even if it is a single, $5 handmade chocolate or new lip gloss.
8) Have a martini
I am not a huge lover of cocktails (too sweet, so expensive!), so when I do have one, I go for a martini. The basics: vodka or gin, light on vermouth or heavy, shaken or stirred, one olive or two, dirty or “not dirty”.
How Alyce likes her martini:
- Gin not vodka
- A hint of vermouth – should only “kiss the glass”
- Stirred, not shaken – tends to make it slightly stronger
- Two olives – I love olives
- Dirty – this means a touch of the olive brine will go in the drink. Delish!
9) Accept yourself
“Everybody has a thing they love about themselves. So begin with that something. Sit in front of a mirror and focus on how awesome that part of you is,” according to the Huffington Post.
10) Try some essential oils
According to Women’s Health, “Essential oils make your skin look smooth, shiny, and so damn sexy. It’s the perfect alternative to lingerie that requires little to no effort (or money).” A good way to make people think you’re sexy.
A final word on being sexy from the experts
“I think the quality of sexiness comes from within. It is something that is in you or it isn’t and it really doesn’t have much to do with breasts or thighs or the pout of your lips.”
“Sexiness is about confidence and individuality. I can’t keep my eyes off the women you see in cities like London, New York and Paris – the way they carry themselves and put themselves together are always so unique.” So, make people think you’re sexy.
“The curve of her smile, the curve of the small of her back, the curve of her laugh, everything about her makes me want to be more well-rounded.”
How do you aim to feel sexy? Any tips for me? Tell me in the comments below!