Are you contemplating getting engaged? You should! Getting married is the ultimate relationship goal for many people, especially if you have found that one person who you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you think you might have found that person, you might already be discussing engagement. It’s a good idea to talk about it before someone just comes out with a surprise proposal.
For one thing, you need to know that you’re both interested in marriage. It’s also important to know some other essential things about what you think marriage will entail and what your future will look like. These are some of the vital things to talk about before you seal the deal.
The Engagement and Wedding
This might seem like the least of the big topics you need to discuss, but it can give you some great insight into how you both feel about various things. For example, is either of you a stickler for tradition?
Does one of you value material things more than the other does? You should talk about whether you’ll be exchanging diamond engagement rings, and what a proposal might look like. Who will be doing the proposing? And what’s your idea of the perfect wedding? Is it small and intimate or a big, showy affair? Talking about these things can reveal a lot about both of you.
Whether You Want Kids
Whether or not you want to have kids is a huge issue. In fact, it’s one of life’s most important decision and one topic that means a lot to many people. Really, this is something that should be discussed at an early stage of the relationship, depending on your age and relationship goals.
So if one of you is desperate for children and the other doesn’t want them or is unsure, you need to know before getting engaged. Not only that, but you should discuss how you might have kids. What happens if one of you is unable to have biological children? And then there’s raising them. How will they be disciplined? Will they be raised within a religion?
Money is one of the main causes of spousal issues. So it’s essential to discuss your finances and your careers before thinking about marriage. You should talk about what your career goals for the future are.
Discuss where you would like to be in your career in five years and what that could mean for both of you. Sometimes chasing your career dreams means relocating or just working a lot. Talk about how you want to handle your finances too. Some couples prefer to keep their money separate and contribute to a shared fund.
Marriage values are important. It’s also important to talk about your values, including religion, especially if you’re talking about having children. Before getting married, they might not come up a lot. But marriage can change a lot of things, and you don’t want to discover some major clashes in your values later down the line. You might discuss what you think your roles are in a marriage, how your religion influences your life or the importance of family.
Getting Engaged is One of the Best Things in Life
Getting engaged is hugely exciting, but make sure you don’t rush into it. If you have some things to discuss, some people recommend premarital counselling. I highly recommend getting married. Some people say that a marriage certificate is “just a piece of paper” – this is not true. To many people, having the security of knowing that you are together for life, no matter what happens is very reassuring and comforting. I love my husband even more now than when I married him 2 years ago. Getting married was one of the best things I ever did.