There are times when I truly hate myself. That sounds awful, doesn’t it? Some days I feel so heavy and almost crushed by the weight of my own flaws. It’s tricky and soul-destroying although I do not believe in the concept of ‘soul’ as most people do. I really think we’re more complicated than that.
I found a great quote about the power of our thoughts, the other day. I wish I could find the exact quote but the words went something like this:
Your words and thoughts spin a web-like net around you and create your reality.
The battle to “think positive”
I often try to think positive thoughts but some days I feel so overwhelmed. What is wrong with me? Every day I feel so hopeless and alone – and really, we are all alone, aren’t we?
The hatred I reserve for myself is much worse than the hatred I have for others. I have been blessed in this life with people who genuinely love me and yet I find it so hard to love myself, my own being – which is so difficult.
Self-esteem is a difficult thing to acquire and I feel that the more fractured our society and culture gets, the less sense of self we seem to have. I wrote a post on bullying and I can see now that this new generation of teenagers (Gen Z) really does have it tough.
Is privacy dead? Are we losing a sense of our “true” selves?
A scary thought is the recent call that Future generations will never know this thing called ‘privacy’.
It scares the hell out of me. Increasingly, our sense of self is pushed to the outer; we seek affirmation of our existence through faster and faster means of communication and validation – do I really exist if I don’t exist online? Did something really happen if it didn’t happen on facebook?
That would sound absurd to many generations, but this thought process of needing affirmations via outside validation is really happening. People are now unaware that they have any right to privacy. People are too afraid to use their common sense on so many issues now. People are sheep. I am also a sheep and I can see myself blindly following the herd half the time, waiting to be pushed into the next pasture, blindly.
The sheep mentality of modern communication – and I am one too! Are you?
People believe almost anything these days and they don’t ask enough questions. Increasingly, I find I am getting angry when I read mindless facebook posts and memes that are telling me to like a post to “tell cancer it sucks”. Seriously. Haven’t people heard of like-farming?
From a recent news.com article: “Build up enough likes and people can then sell the page to someone else who can use the well-liked page for whatever they want. Or it’s just a tricky marketing technique – there’s a US online community called CafeMom that has gathered more than 1.3 million likes with the line, ‘Click ‘like’ if you love your kids!’” This sort of thing drives me crazy.
What information are you taking in?
We are simply affronted by information today – and so much of it is mindless and obvious. People are turning away from spiritual things because they do not trust them. Religious institutions have become corrupt, families have broken down, society is failing us.
The good news is that all the information you need is already out there. Unlike the old days – you can access it all – it is all there for you. Do you have a spiritual question? Then begin your search there. What is a spiritual question? It could be anything deeply relevant to your being that you wish to discover. You may not find the answer – but you may.
The life of the spiritual seeker is like magic
There are incredible things out there and we can investigate these things ourselves. No one else can give you the knowledge you want – you have to seek it yourself. I began looking at a young age as many of us do. Seeking out spiritual answers is not always fun. Growing as a person is not always easy. There are times I hate myself and the more spiritual I seek to be, the worse the gaps between my vision and my actions become.
What to do when you think you hate yourself – 10 steps
- Remember that you are just as valuable and as spiritual as any person on earth
- Remember that you have just as much value as a tree, a flower, a lion
- Tell yourself that maybe you will learn to love yourself a bit more tomorrow
- Make it through one more day. Breathe
- I believe in you
- Think of one person who loves you, or one person who loved you in the past
- See that you are valuable and worthwhile
- Remember a time in your past when you felt loved
- And know that that moment of love was as true as any moment in time, and is valuable, real and worthy
- You do not hate yourself. You never did.