7 Signs You Are Not Over Your Ex
Are you still in love with your ex-partner? There are many signs that you are not over your ex but sometimes we miss them. Before you get back to the dating scene, you need to make sure you’re ready for a new relationship. Breakups or divorces are always painful. They don’t only hurt your feelings but also undermine your confidence. I should know, I have been there.
Although time can heal all wounds, nobody will tell you how much time you might need to move on from your less-than-perfect relationship. Sometimes you may feel like you’ve totally moved on and an hour later you pass by your favourite spot and you get overwhelmed by mixed feelings. If you can’t understand whether you’re still emotionally bound up with your ex or you completely got over your past relationship, check out the following signs.
7 Definite Signs You Are Not Quite Over Your Ex
#1: You have polar assessments
Shortly after a breakup, it can be hard for you to critically assess your partner. You are at a loss. Your attitudes to your ex vary from “He/she was the best thing in my life” to “I hate him/her”. The first sign that you are over your ex is your ability to recall both positive and negative moments of your relationship as well as find good and bad qualities in your partner. An important detail: you stay cool thinking about your ex.
#2: You don’t know what caused your breakup
If you can’t trace down the causes of your breakup without trying to justify yourself, you are still stuck in the past. You blame bad luck that sends you the wrong type of people, you blame your ex for being immature, etc. If you’ve recovered from your parting, you can impartially analyze your relationship and figure out what you and your partner did that led to your breakup. You realise your mistakes as well as your partner’s faults and you know how to avoid them in future.
#3: You keep their things
Memories are great if they make you happy. If there are certain items that remind you of your ex and make you miserable, you should get rid of them. Why keep his/her scarf/toy if you’ve gone separate ways? If you want to kill the pain, you should eliminate its source. Your messages also fall under the category of things you need to delete in order to turn over a page.
#4: You get emotional thinking about or talking to your ex
When you break up with a person, you should let them go. Of course, it won’t happen immediately. You should get to the point when the recollection of your ex doesn’t evoke anger, grievance, or depression but triggers zero feelings. That will mean you let that person go and now, you’re open for new people. You feel grateful to your ex-partner for happy moments and you don’t blame them for anything.
#5: You stalk them online
Hey, we’ve all done it, right? Another sign that you haven’t moved on from your past relationship is your monitoring your partner online or hanging around the places they usually attend or pass by. Do you regularly check your ex’s Facebook account to see how they are doing or if they found someone? By doing so, you prevent yourself from forgetting your ex.
#6: You can’t resist calling them
If you seek ways to get in touch with your ex, you can’t get them out of your head. You haven’t deleted their number yet and it’s like a candy locked in the cupboard – you know it’s there and you’re drawn to it. You have a plan: you’ll call your ex and then quickly hang up as if you did it accidentally. How inventive of you. If it’s over between you two, delete your ex’s contacts and move on.
#7: You start dating someone very similar to your ex
Again, we’ve all thought about this one, haven’t we? Can you simply just “replace” your ex? You thought you were over your ex and you even started dating someone. But it turns out that person resembles your ex-partner very much. Since you’re still focused on your ex, you try to find a replacement for him or her. This is an absolutely unhealthy way of dealing with a breakup. You need to start a new life without ghosts of the past. It’s OK if your new date has some qualities you found attractive in your ex, but if this person is their copy, obviously, you aren’t over your ex.
This is an absolutely unhealthy way of dealing with a breakup. You need to start a new life without ghosts of the past. It’s OK if your new date has some qualities you found attractive in your ex, but if this person is their copy, obviously, you aren’t over your ex.