10 online dating tips for men who really need help with women
What are some online dating tips for men? Could you meet the love of your life by dating online? I have to admit something here, The Boyf and I met online, more than seven years ago. We are now happily married (he’s my husband now!) and we have a baby girl. Life is good. Flashback to 2011 – we were both single, frustrated, and dating online.
I went on a grand total of 4 dates with people I met online, via popular app at the time. The Boyf was the first. The minute he walked into the bar where we were meeting, I knew he was “the one” – he was charming, funny, good looking – and a perfect match for me. Everyone else I had met online was “fine”, but there was no “spark”.
I honestly think that you need to meet in person as soon as possible to see if that spark is there. It’s not all about good looks – it’s about how you hold yourself, how you sound, how you present yourself, and how confident you are. It’s important to find a good match – that can be hard to determine from people you only speak to in digital form.
Meeting someone and getting to know each other is definitely an exciting experience, especially when you are meeting someone new and exciting online. There’s just something about dating online that makes it “fun”.
As I was writing this article, The Boyf jumped in and reassessed all my points, and told me accurately what online dating tips for men I should really include in this article. His male-centric online dating points are listed below. Please give me your opinions in the comments section at the end of this post.
Here are The Boyf’s top online dating tips for men
Just remember, “While there are no official statistics on the number of Australians using online dating sites,” according to Relationships Australia, “…around 4.5 million Australians use this dating method each year, with online dating being the second most preferred way to meet a new partner behind introductions through family and friends.”
Please note – even though I am married to him, I think a few of his ideas require further investigation. Please give him any feedback in the comments section at the end of this post.
#1: Be aware of profile pics that look too good to be true
Sigh – The Boyf (in his dating days) was on more than one occasion bamboozled by a less-than-accurate photo of a potential online suitor. In particular, he mentioned that girls would send shots of them as bridesmaids (for example) where they were heavily dolled up, and in their best gear – giving a false impression of what they really looked like.
He also advised that “shots taken from above” (flattering angle selfies) could also be deceptive, as (in his words) women might have a “double chin” or “cankles” upon closer inspection. I think his opinion has some merit (even though it sounds terrible)
#2: Who pays on the first date?
The Boyf points out that, “…the man has to pay to connect with you on these online apps, so at the very least you need to cut the first date bill in half, as he has already incurred some demonstrable costs.
As a chick, well, I think this is all par-for-the-course, really. Women are at a wage gap disadvantage, so I believe than blokes should still stiff up the cost of dinner or a drink when they can. You earn more than us for doing the same jobs, after all.
#3: Do not discount someone right way
Points to The Boyf for this one, it’s actually a very mature way to think about dating. You need to give people a chance – sometimes someone you think will be wrong will actually be right, and sometimes a person who will ‘tick all the boxes’ on paper will just lack that certain spark. Give someone a chance first.
#4: Men should just ask questions, as “chicks love talking about themselves” according to The Boyf
Well, yeah, he is right about this one too. It’s really important to learn to be a great dater if you want success. Some people even choose to use an online dating coach. In the end, it is always up to you, but it doesn’t hurt to try following a few tips from someone who knows how things work. Ask questions and let the dating expert know your thoughts so he or she can give you the right advice.
#5: Treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen
While I don’t agree with this one, it is a tactic that sometimes works. No one wants to be with someone who seems desperate for love. Take your time when getting to know someone, ask active questions and for godssake, don’t over text or over call once the date has ended. Play it cool.
#6: Always meet in a well-lit place
Again, probably a piece of good advice. I think that The Boyf must have been fooled once or twice into thinking one of his dates looked different to what they really did. Definitely put some thought into where you will meet up. If your date is too hot or too cold, or sitting under bad lighting, then you won’t have as good a time.
#7: Make sure there are two exits to the first-date venue
I don’t suggest running out on your date, but this was another piece of advice that you might want to pay attention to. If you get really stuck and your date is going badly, I would suggest being upfront, or by making an excuse to leave. This is much more polite than just “doing a runner”.
#8: Don’t always think that the woman has the upper hand
As a women myself, I was not aware that men thought we had the upper hand. Sure, it’s usually the woman who gets to choose when to first have sex and kiss, but I really believe that men have the upper hand in so many other ways. Remember that women love confident men – really they do – so remember all your good points and talk your achievements up.
#9: If you are interested, do not “be coy” or play games
But do not seem “too keen either” – if it is going well, be upfront about that and comment on it – let her know that you have feelings (women love men with feelings). The Boyf should have really taken his own advice here, because I remember being genuinely confused about how he felt about me at first – and that nearly made me walk away. Do not be coy!
#10: Never give away too much too early
Yes. This. While dating I heard some absolute clangers from men – one guy told me about his suicide attempt – ON THE FIRST DATE. Another guy told me how much he hated his mother. Keep the conversation light for the first few dates and get to know someone slowly.
Please tell me how your dating is going in the comments section below – what do you think of The Boyf’s advice? Will it work?