Are you breaking the rules of online dating?
Yes, there are rules when it comes to online dating – you just have to know what they are, and follow them. The 21st century has brought us some incredible technology, more freedoms and equality than ever before – but has it completely ruined dating forever for some people?
That’s right, even though we are instantly connectable with our smartphones and social media, we are also the loneliest we have ever been and looking for love isn’t so simple as approaching someone in a bar anymore. You have to know the rules of online dating. What are they?
Online dating can be a minefield
The rules for online dating are shifting and keeping up with even the basics like which questions to ask – or not to ask – is becoming more difficult. While technology tends to run on intuition, dating with technology is separating us off and our intuition is being blinded by options.
Relax and see what happens
Part of the problem with dating sites is that we all know that everyone on there is looking for love, or at least, we know they aren’t looking for friendship. This can be a problem for some people because there is then quite a lot of pressure implied and expectations to meet. Or, the site is so casual that you feel that it might be great for a getting a few dates but any meaningful relationship is outside the scope.
You need to relax and stop assuming things about the other person before you have even met. Try sending messages to see what comes back, go for a coffee or something chilled before launching into a more full-on dinner date. Just act as though this is the most natural thing in the world, getting to know someone new and making friends first. Afterall, love should be the most natural thing in the world.
Ask for help
Online dating isn’t the only way to find love. Friends and family are a great resource for finding someone you might like to date from introducing you to new people to setting up blind dates and always rooting for you. There is no shame in asking for help with your love life, just put word out that you are looking for someone and see who comes up.
Talk to a professional
Another option is to join an exclusive matchmaking site and let them do all the hard work for you. A dating site is perfect for professionals who are looking for someone but have little time to play the field and go on lots of dates. It works a little bit like online dating except you don’t have all the pressure of scrolling through profiles and choosing – let your matchmaker do all the hard work!
A final word on modern dating is that we don’t really understand what intimacy is anymore. For most people intimacy is just another word for sex, and yet there are few things as powerfully intimate as holding eye contact with someone for a long period of time. Similarly intimacy can come from answering personal questions like the 36 questions to make you fall in love.
Online dating might find you your dream partner
I met my husband online and if I’d never signed up for online dating, we would never have met. Once you stop thinking about dating as a means to an end and start enjoying the process, you will be so much more relaxed and attractive to whoever you are seeing. Let yourself go and have fun and don’t worry so much about the one.