How to rebuild a relationship after a breakup
Is it ever possible to rebuild a relationship? What do you do if you want to get back with you ex? Friends and family members may be telling you it’s not a great idea. Your ex might even be a narcissist or an emotional vampire.
However, your previous relationship might also be the best thing you’ve ever done and the beginning of a long and happy relationship together. There are so many cases of couples breaking up and getting back together. The Boyf and I broke up after dating for a few weeks, spent a couple of years apart and now we’re happily married. If you want to rebuild a relationship it might be worth giving it a go – you’ll only know if you try. Here are just a few of the steps you can take to rebuild a relationship.
#1: Take it slowly
Use your head. Some people are your ex for a reason. Don’t rush back into a relationship. However, if you think this person is worth the risk, then you can’t simply start where you left off. Approach it as a new relationship – go through the initial dating phase as if it were a fresh partner (the dating phase is often the most exciting after all). Make sure that you’ve both had enough of a break to heal and work out what you both need.
#2: Make sure the desire is mutual
Some relationships are very one-sided. I have dated a few people who simply took advantage of me and my caring nature. Your relationship can only be rebuilt if both of you are willing to give it a go. There are sure to be bad feelings left over from your breakup. If you really want to rebuild a relationship, then you need to make sure you both want the same thing.
Both of you will have to swallow these feelings of resentment and put them behind you if you are to get back together – you don’t want them to be forever brought up in every petty argument in the future. Make sure the relationship isn’t one-sided, if you’ve been pleading to give things another go and your ex has said yes, make sure they’re not simply doing it out of pity or guilt.
#3: Be prepared to make changes
Both of you will have to make changes in order to resolve the conflict that caused you to break up. You both need to be prepared to make these changes. If your ex is asking too much of you, this could be a sign that getting back together isn’t the right decision.
If you really want it to work, you’ll both be willing to make the sacrifices that the two of you offer. When you want to rebuild a relationship you might need to make a few sacrifices and learn how to compromise. That’s part of life as an adult.
#4: Consider couple’s counselling
Some couples may find it best to seek out counselling to try and get to the bottom of the conflict and resolve it. There are plenty of counsellors out there for relationships. Not everyone will be comfortable telling their personal problems to a counsellor – make sure that your ex is happy with the decision to see a counsellor.
#5: Do new things, visit new places
There may be bad memories associated with the places you used to go and then the activities you used to do. Try to approach it as a new relationship by trying new activities and going to new places on dates. Consider all the places you may have wanted to go and the activities you may have wanted to do but never got a chance.
Doing these new activities and going to these new places may even cause you to discover new things about one another. The likes of Red Book Mag offer all kinds of date ideas for inspiration.
So, you want to rebuild a relationship?
Take it from me, it can be done, but tread carefully. Use the steps above to make your decision and work through your issues as a couple slowly but surely. There are many prime examples of couples that break up and get back together – check out this list from People.