Emotional Vampires, Psychic Vampirism & Emotionally Draining Relationships
Have you ever heard of psychic vampirism? Once upon a time I had an emotional vampire in my life. This person would suck the living energy out of me and take all that energy for themselves. How did I allow this to happen? You guessed it – I cared about them. Emotional vampires are usually people we love, otherwise why would we allow them to take so much from us, for purely selfish reasons?
There are many people that will sap the living day lights out of you – your boss, whining colleagues, other people’s children, your own children. The difference with an emotional vampire is that they are usually someone that we have invested lots of time and energy into, so we feel that we MUST listen to them and give them attention OR ELSE.
Usually they are completely careless with others’ emotions, nor do they pay full heed to the time and energy they’re taking from you. Often they do know that they’re being needy – they simply don’t care. It’s all about them, them, them. Psychic vampirism is very serious, as it wears you down slowly.
If there is an emotional vampire in your life, you need to kick them to the curb, or at the very least, instil some ground rules in your relationship so they don’t drain your energies any more.
Psychic vampirism – what it is and how to deal with it
We do not have infinite energy – this is a fact known to all beings on Earth. At the end of the day we get tired and we have to “recharge our batteries” by getting rest, sleeping, relaxing and meditating. If we do not do this, we will literally die.
When someone psychically drains you, they sap your energy because it will feed theirs. They may do this in a variety of ways; by talking over the top of you, getting angry at you, never listing to you, only coming to you with their problems, in their timeframes.
Often, they will start up slowly but give them and inch and they will take a mile. Before you know it, you will be constantly attending to their problems and they will make you feel guilty if they don’t. When dealing with psychic vampirism you need to know what you’re dealing with.
What is an emotional vampire’s psychology like?
Have a look at “Joe” from my post How to Spot an Emotional Vampire in 10 Steps. Joe was (and I am sure, still is) a giant asshole and emotional vampire who was also a narcissist. People like this only care for themselves, and often the people in their lives will be delusional about how important they in fact are to the narcissist. Your emotionally draining relationships are sucking the life out of you – admit it!
All emotionally draining relationships take more time than they should. When you feel mentally drained, you don’t have enough time for yourself and your own needs, hopes and dreams. Who ‘you’ are starts to fade and can only be seen through the prism of the psychic vampire and their own emotional needs.
What to do when you are around a psychic vampire
To put things simply – you will need to nip this behaviour in the bud. Read my post How to Deal with an Emotional Vampire: The 5 Essential Steps! to get started. Remember that you are a valuable individual who needs to give to themselves first – rather than jumping on everyone else’s needs above your own. Dealing with emotionally draining relationships is always a big drain.
The only way to deal with the emotional vampire in my case was to let his psychic vampirism beat me down until I was a mere shadow of the person I once was. I was too afraid to speak, do the wrong thing, accidentally offend him.
Every day I would be “on guard” for his moods, and constantly have to suffer barrages of emotional storms and help him deal with his other emotionally draining relatonships. The worst part? He didn’t give two hoots about me, or anyone else for that matter. Not only was it a waste of time – it hurt me emotionally as I always felt drained, afraid and unable to take appropriate time out for me.
Listen to your heart – if someone around you is an emotional vampire – ask yourself some really searching questions and then get rid of them. You’re life is too valuable to waste on people who don’t honour and adore you for the brilliant person that you are.