Are men in their 40s still attractive? Dating men over 40
Do you think that younger women think that men over 40 are attractive? I have to be very, very careful as I write this because I am now married and my husband is only 35 and sexy as. But I will delve into the various statistics and studies here on the subject of why men in their 40s are attractive, and how in many ways, they are nearing their attractiveness peak.
More self-confident
Older men know a thing or two about sounding confident. The older we get the less we care what others think of us. We enter a phase of “not caring” in that we have earned our right to be present in conversations and have our points heard. Once men reach their 40s, they are more confident in who they are, what they stand for and their own morals and ethics.
Once men reach the age of 40 they have more confidence than they did in their 20s and 30s. By age 40 you know who you are and what you have to offer the world – there is no longer any need to apologise for being you.
Still young enough to be a father
“Sexual attractiveness has never just been about looks — and looks do not go to poop at 39! It’s about attitude and confidence and intelligence and wit and charm and, subconsciously, fertility,” says UK’s The Telegraph. “A recent study found that 52% of respondents believe that men gain allure as they reach 40 — and 39+ men are still viewed as sex symbols, not father-types.”
Yes, it’s true. At age 40 men are still able to be fathers without the hazard of the biological clock that women have to suffer. It sucks, but that’s life, and why God is probably a man.
Still physically attractive
At age 40 men are still usually very physically attractive and often still gain the attention of women when out and about. In one survey on male attractiveness, 54% of the survey respondents said men “not being chatted up on nights out” was the clearest sign they no longer existed, sexually, according to The Telegraph. “The other “signs” are greying hair, double chins, thinning hair and having bad teeth.”
At age 40 you really are still quite physically attractive, particularly if you have been wise and looked after yourself and lived a reasonably healthy lifestyle. So, Do women really find older men attractive? Check out this blog post for more info. There are so many reasons that men over 40 are still so attractive.
Are you dating a man over 50? Check out Are men in their 50s still attractive? Dating men over 50
More self-assured
According to AskMen.com, “Men over 40 will try to do everything they didn’t get the chance to do during their younger years. They don’t have to worry about social, career or economic problems, thus, they can reach their goals more easily,” according to the website. “Even though they deny it, being middle-aged makes men more outgoing and they want to spend as much time as they can having sex.”
Men over 40 are often simply more self-assured than their younger brothers. They know what strengths they have and how to play to them. They are often better listeners too, and don’t feel the need to dominate the conversation like a younger, less self-assured man might. Men over 40 have so much to offer.
Own house, own car, own job
Another good thing about dating men over 40 is that they usually have more “material” possessions under their belts. While material possessions do not a solid relationship make, having them never hurts and allows people to focus on other aspects of the relationship, rather than striving to make ends meet. By the age of 40 most people will have had a few good jobs, hopefully a career, may have acquired property or necessary things such as a car, a retirement fund and a few savings.
However, some men may simply not want to share. One commenter on the Date Like a Grown Up blog named Greg says, “The biggest reason why I don’t want to date, and my male friends express the same sentiment, is that we fear losing our financial investments to a failed relationship. Let’s face it, at 42 years old we don’t want to be starting fresh mortgages or having to pay alimony. We are proud of our achievements and want to now invest in retiring early to enjoy life.”
So, all men over 40, take heart
Yes, there is plenty of hope for you. “Men and women are different in many ways,” says relationships expert Bobbi Palmer, “but we’re more the same than you may think. And this is especially true as we get older. We all have dating disappointments and horror stories.”
Alyce’s advice? Dating after 40 can be a lot of fun. Be honest with yourself and others and have a good time.
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I have to disagree with your reasoning. There are also a lot of single men in their 40s who are broke, jobless, in debt (with no assets) and are painfully insecure, only some of them are divorced. It’s far too easy to find 40+ men who are extremely bitter towards women and life in general who bring a sense of entitlement to everything, the net is full of their comments and nasty articles aimed at women. Offline these guys are not pleasant to be around, many have money, legal and substance abuse problems. The men you describe are not the majority women are meeting in real life and in general when an older man doesn’t have his life together the question is asked is there still time for him to do so if he hasn’t figured it out by now. Loved and lost is a far better prospect than someone who appears incapable of it.
Crossing an age milestone doesn’t automatically put you in one category or another of anything, it’s how you take care of yourself and your life, no one wants to date a 40+ man who hates the world and never progressed beyond an adolescent world view, nor one who thinks superficial achievements entitles him to be arrogant and careless.
A man who has paid attention to himself, his life and the people around him, who has empathy and cares about and connects with people (not just pretends to in order to get something), who is mature and level headed not running around chasing fantasies and making a fool of himself is a man who will be appealing to women regardless of the generation they belong to. It’s when men have unrealistic expectations they shoot themselves in the foot, few women want to date angry men, financially irresponsible men, childish men or men who take them for granted. Very few younger women would look at an older man twice too yet a lot of men seem to think when a woman talks to him she is interested in sleeping with him, it’s as though after a certain age women can’t have a normal conversation with men anymore because men think they’re being hit on.
What I’m saying is if a man is feeling he’s out of the game he should get his house in order before he starts expecting women to take an interest in him, if he meets someone along the way great but to complain all the time about how hard done by he is because women aren’t interested while doing nothing to improve his circumstances is a very unattractive trait, almost as unattractive as blaming women for not liking it.
Hi Been There-
Too right! I 100% agree with your reasoning. You are correct, many people who are long-term single can become bitter – we all know someone like this. Also, if you are single for a long time – there is probably a good reason. Partners act like our “mirror” – they assist us with seeing and correcting bad behaviour. Without someone to reflect us back to ourselves, what chance do we have? I just finished a book called Cocoa At Midnight. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17167437-cocoa-at-midnight Set in 1909 – 1955, the author finds love in her late 30s, with a man in his early 40s, set around the 1930s. She mentions that the London boarding houses are full of ageing and alone men in their later years, having never found a direction or a wife.
Thanks again for your very insightful comments and have a wonderful week.
–Alyce
Lol, Been there, you are correct. In life we can only be responsible for ourselves and our own actions. Although you sound a little bitter, I get it. Lets not blame all men or women here. Both sexes hold responsibility in how the world turns. Im a 43 year old male. I enjoy life and have been married once. In fact, married for 18 years. Heres what I have learned. Dating is much diffrent then when I was a young man. Many women just want a no strings attached weekend romp once or twice a month and what ever they can get financially or if crafty with your hands, what ever home improvements that you can offer. Wow what a run on sentence.
They want a man to cook, clean and pay for everything. They want to walk around being worshiped and yet not want to explain any of their actions when you catch them talking to or dating another man. Many want to keep their ex husbands or boyfriends as friends. Now before you jump off on how its possible to remain friends after a relationship and NOT have sex. Stop kidding yourself and climb back down from your perch and take off the rose covered glasses. Because a man does not have time to waste with a woman unless hes sleeping with her or trying to sleep with her. I mean at 40 plus years old you see the world as it is not as you would like it. Further more no matter how great your equipment works at 40 something, you know the day will come it will not work anymore. Women can still have sex until the day they die. So with that said, why should we jump through hoops for a woman if we are not getting our needs met in return? Why stay friends after a failed relationship for the emotional support, i think not. It is Pointless, because thanks to equil rights and the progression of it, women have become just as if not more sexually free then males. Since women out number men theres no need to rush into anything. Now subtract the number of males that are gay or bi or transitional. Women just really increased in numbers when compared to men. When looking at studies produced it clearly shows its a target rich environment for the single man in his 40s that knows how to be , well a man.
Im happy with life, im successful, vacation at least twice a year and at a minimum date regularly two women at any given time. I dont pretend anything, I lay it out on the table and dont hide anything. Im a single male, i make no appologies for that. Now let me say this, do I wish i can find a ” good woman”? All women are good. Its just some have morals, values and are trust worthy but many are not with those attributes in todays world. Many men have adapted to this and do not connect emotionally to women they date. When I fine a woman that is single, she and i click and shes with those morals i will be saying I DO faster then a woman knows she wants to have sex with the man she just met. But until then i will enjoy my life that I have built and the women that make it so easy to never marry again. By the way. Most women that approach me are in the age range of 23 to 36 years old. I personally look for a 40 something year old woman that is looking to actually get to know me and I her before trying to move to marrige 3 months after meeting. With all the selfish people in this world one has to protect their investments, ladies slow down on the vows and enjoy the dance a little longer. Maybe mr Right will stick around.
Can you share those rose coloured glasses you are wearing Please!!!!
I’m confident to say..men after 35, let themselves go..period especially if attached!..if just enjoying life, bit too much..job, financially secure, toys, fact the forgot beer isnt in the food group, TV isnt a leisure time, and money entitles you to nothing but plaque in your arteries, too fungus, and waking up next to their dog…yes men on dating sites put hardly any effort into grooming, half slap the the monkey while speaking to you, call you babe, when you say no tell you your crazy…so….where is this planet the author resides on cause…70% of men in Ontario should have made an effort, got a haircut, ditched the viagara…they won’t need it…money buys no happiness for a women that doesn’t want it….lol….
Not only all men seem to be 39
Hi there irrelevant,
Haha – thanks for your comment. I agree that men really do need to continue to make an effort in the dating game. I am a firm believer that all the energy you put into something, you get back. We have all kissed a few frogs in our lifetime by the time we are in our forties, and I think dating in your mature years means that everyone needs to be a little more upfront about what they want and need, so that they don;t string someone along.
Thanks for taking the time to touch base and good luck in the dating game.
Love, Alyce
One comment about what you said that men easily become father at the age 40 ,while for women its not so easy.And then you stated that thats why” God is the man”
God has no gender,he created us in pairs but He is nothing like us.
Hi Leyla,
Ha ha – yes I agree with you. I was only being “tongue in cheek”! I certainly believe that God is not gendered male or female and what He is is probably beyond human comprehension.
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Love, Alyce
(My mother language is French, not English, so please excuse my grammar mistakes) :
Here’s THE FACTS, explained by evolutionary psychology :
– Women’s attractiveness is hightly determined by her youth, physical beauty and fertility. So she is the queen between 18 and 30 years.
– Men’s attractiveness is NOT hightly determined by his physical beauty, but hightly by his material possess, his provider hability, his success in life. All these caracteristics jump between 30 and 45 years. So men are kings at this period, before becoming to old to stay in the game.
==> “”Don’t hate the game’s rules, it won’t make them easier. Just accept and deal with it””.