Honeymoon phase: 9 things I’ve learned since getting married

Are you in the honeymoon phase? Marriage is awesome – seriously, get freakin’ married if you can. Both the hubby and I agree that we are not sure how we managed to get by before.

Before I married my Noodle*, I was an independent woman who looked after herself. Now that I am a-wedded, I am mystified as to how I managed to get through the day without accidentally stabbing myself in the eye with a fork, or falling asleep on the floor instead of the bed.

My husband makes life better, sweeter. He is a lovely guy – and I hope your husband or wife is as well. Seriously, I have only been married for 3 ½ months, so literally in the “honeymoon phase” and I hope I still feel this way with many moons to come. Here are a few of the things I have learned since getting married. I may be in the honeymoon phase but have learned a thing or two.

In the honeymoon phase: You find out about your annoying personal habits

I know, I know. Who would have thought that I have annoying habits? Here are some of them: I don’t lock doors, close windows or turn off the aircon. I snore a little bit (but like a delicate pixie, apparently). I throw away food that is (shock, horror!) more than 3 days old and I get water all over the bathroom when I take a shower.

In the honeymoon phase: Your family bosses you around less

My husband and I have both noticed this one. The parents (both of us have a full deck of involved, successful, good looking and still-together parental units) feel that they can finally “relax” a bit and leave us (somewhat) “to it”. After all, when you get hitched, you cleave to your partner and leave your parents behind.

In the honeymoon phase: Random people will treat you with more respect

Coppers, bosses, elders, Great Uncles and Aunties – they will finally give you some of the respect that you deserve for your excellent lifestyle choice. Better than a great job, nice house or even winning the lottery – a husband or wife will be a huge tick for your rellies and the wider community.

In the honeymoon phase: Your partner has annoying household habits

Ergh. Don’t stack coffee cups and glasses in the sink. Don’t use multiple towels between washing days. Don’t move the goddarned remote and don’t use my good tissues and Scott’s towels to wipe up household spills – how many times do I have to tell you? Seriously.

In the honeymoon phase: You become overly concerned whether someone has had dinner or not

Have you had dinner? What are you thinking of having? Do you want me to take something out of the freezer for you? Do you understand that we have bread/leftovers/two heads of lettuce to eat? My Sweet Noodle is very Italian-grandmother with me and I just love it.

In the honeymoon phase: Your bedroom becomes the most attractive place on earth

For the reason you think, and for other reasons. Cold and duck-egg blue, light and airy, with a blooming garden balcony and a snoring, hairy man, there is no better place in the world than our marital bedroom I may never need to go on holiday again – just let me stay in our bedroom please. Here are some lovely bedrooms to give you inspiration.

In the honeymoon phase: You fall into having to perform certain “tasks”

Me – bathroom cleaner. Him – fixer of broken lightbulbs, hinges, doors and windows. Finder of remotes, dustpans, lost shoes. Me – the bringer of law and order. Him – the harbinger of chaos.  Or, reverse that, depending on the night. Stop arguing with me, please.

In the honeymoon phase: You start to feel more anxious when your husband or wife gets sick

When we were boyfriend/girlfriend, yep, I didn’t like him being sick. Now, I get worried. Don’t you leave me on this godforsaken planet alone, you mug. You will not get sick, and while we’re at it, my excessive drinking and your excessive smoking should probably change too. Bad habits are fine as a single – but now you have to look after me too, buddy.

In the honeymoon phase: You have someone else at family gatherings to lean on

Ergh, family. We both love ours but it really, really, really helps to have someone to lean on at family gatherings. Someone who knows that you’ll want to stop off at the bottle shop on the way home, or be left alone for a few hours. Thanks Bubby.

*my husband does have a real name, and it is not Noodle.