The sex spreadsheet: why I think the wife was wrong

Have you heard about the sex spreadsheet? Regular readers of my blog will be happy to know that I was very interested in this story, as I have blogged before about whether you have the right to withhold sex in your relationship.

Personally, I think someone refuses sex at their peril. Sex is an important part of being an adult person and it’s just as important as going to the gym and eating healthily – two things, incidentally, that I don’t do enough.

There was a story this week about a husband who asked his wife for sex every day for 7 weeks – starting on June 1st and ending a few days ago. Each day, he would spreadsheet her response, to hilarious results.

Some of her excuses for not wanting sex were quite pathetic – “I’m watching the show” (Friends TV re-run) and “I feel sweaty and gross, I need a shower” (Didn’t shower until the next day).

Since the story came out, lots of people have come to the defence of the woman – saying that, “I’m pretty sure that if you and the spouse aren’t sleeping together as much as you’d like, the way to turn her on is not with passive-aggressive use of Microsoft Office.”

The husband cut contact with the wife after sending the spreadsheet, and I am still kinda questioning whether this whole story is not a PR thing for Redddit or something.

Of course, when we hear about a partner withholding sex, it’s usually the woman withholding it from the man, but it does happen the other way around too.

Within a committed relationship, sex should be a priority – even if you don’t feel like it. Often, once we start something, we see its value, and the joy comes after that.

So – The Boyf and I pulled two tarot cards this morning. Please note – The Boyf does not like airy-fairy, hippy-type stuff, at least not that he will admit to.

He pulled the Tower, in reverse and I pulled The Page of Wands.

Getting ready for work. I had an important meeting so I had to look good. Rainbow shirt – check. New silver bangle – check. Black jodhpurs and third-Reich boots – check. Nice hair and makeup – check, check.

So I turn around and, well, how do I say this. I usually pride myself on never making an excuse. “I’m already late!” I laughed. “And I just did my hair!” He smiles and I remember the spreadsheet. So – it looks like I’m going to be late, so what?

After a quick shower I go back and look at the image on the tarot card I pulled and have a good laugh. A young man, carrying a (rather impressive) staff – The Page of Wands – the image that’s my header shot today for this post!

Yes – sometimes the Tarot really does predict your near future! 


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