What should you order on a first date and who should pay?

It has been a very long time since I went on a first date but I have been on many in my time. I remember in my youth, sitting opposite a teenaged date of mine who had just had a cappuccino – he spent the entire date with a chocolate moustache and I was too chicken to tell him – I was 14 years old and no idea about etiquette.

Who should pay on the first date?

I think the man should pay on the first date. The only exception to this would be if the woman invited the man out AND chose the restaurant. Even then, I still think the man should pay? Why? Because of the gender pay gap and women’s lesser opportunities to earn fair superannuation and the fact that we have to spend more time out of the workforce, due to childbirth and childrearing. So men should pay.

My first date with The Boyf

With gay women? I have no idea who should pay. This will probably be the first of many challenging questions you’ll have to navigate through. I do remember my first date with The Boyf. We met for a drink and I was thrilled when he asked to take me to dinner, on the same night. He also says I leaned across the dinner table to give him a smooch during dinner – I don’t remember this – but it sounds like something I would do. The bill? We split it 50/50 but I liked him so much that I agreed to go out again.

So now we have resolved who should be paying, let’s get onto what you should be ordering. There are a few posts I found online that deal with this subject, but I felt that it was time that I weighed in on the subject myself.

What should men order on the first date?

  1. Make sure she has a glass of wine in front of her before you do anything else
  2. Whatever you order, make sure it is not something messy
  3. Eat meat, but avoid any meat you will pick up with our hands, such as ribs or wings
  4. Real men eat salad, but not on its own
  5. Never, ever, ever comment that she has a “big appetite”
  6. Don’t tell gross stories while eating
  7. Don’t make suggestive sexual comments while eating
  8. Do not overeat
  9. Do not under-eat
  10. Don’t be cheap – it’s one bloody night

What should women order on the first date?

  1. Whatever you do, don’t drink too much!
  2. Never choose the most expensive thing on the menu
  3. If you’re vegetarian, let him know in advance in case he doesn’t want to date you
  4. Real women eat salad, but never on a first date
  5. Listen to his stories and tell fewer of your own
  6. Make him feel important, be interested in what he says
  7. Wear something low cut, give the poor man something to look at
  8. Eat delicately, but finish your food, unless served a crazy-big amount
  9. Always offer to pay, but only once out of politeness
  10. Never talk about past lovers – ever

I remember a date I had where I had to pay for my own parsnips

Yes, I am a feminist. So what? I am also a realist. Because of my age, I have been on many dates in my life. I remember one tragic date I went on where the poor gentleman connivingly suggested that we shouldn’t order mains. Thinking that this was because he wanted to avoid a big bill at the end of the meal, I acquiesced and made do with a few soggy chips and a side dish of root vegetables.

When the bill came – he pushed the little black folder my way, after depositing half the cash. There I was, 11pm at night and paying for my own parsnips. When he asked me if I’d like to join him for one more drink at a local bar, I took the opportunity to flee – hailing a cab and hopping in. I was tired and hungry and if he wanted any ‘action’ (even so much as a kiss on the check) he should have seen to it that I was fed and watered.

When he called up and asked to date me a second time, the only thing I could think was, “you spent the whole date telling how important you were and then you couldn’t pay for all the root vegetables and a couple of lousy glasses of cheapish wine?”

I gave him another date, many weeks later, but in the back of my mind I couldn’t enjoy it as I knew I would be stung with a bill at the end of the date. And I am too cute and funny for that.

I can tell you’re rolling your eyes at me now. Ok, Ok… maybe I am being a little ridiculous. Men and women are equal, right?

There is no such things as gender equality

Of course we are not and we never will be. This new expression of ‘gender equality’ is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. The sexes will never be equal – well, certainly not while this body of mine walks the globe.

“There are also non-Western countries of low religiosity where the contention surrounding gender equality remains. In China, cultural preference for a male child has resulted in a shortfall of women in the population. Feminism in Japan has made many strides and resulted in in the Gender Equality Bureau, but Japan remains low in gender equality compared to other industrialized nations,” says Wiki’s Gender Equality page.

“There are also countries that have a history of a high level of gender equality in certain areas of life, but not in other areas. An example is Finland, which has offered very high opportunities to women in public/professional life, but has had a weak legal approach to the issue of violence against women, with the situation in this country having been called a paradox.”


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