How to change yourself: quickly

Change is hard. I want to change but I find it very difficult. Sometimes I forget that I am truly changing every day. There are so many things about myself that I would like to change but I often feel that I am staying the same because change is so slow and can be unnoticeable.

I have been successful in changing myself on occasion. Every now and then, I recall something from the past and think, “Wow, I cannot believe that I used to think that way! I am so happy that I have changed.” Things that used to upset me, upset me less these days. Some things that we not a problem before have become a problem subsequently.

Here are some ways I have found change:

Stop procrastinating

When I have to do something I don’t like, I procrastinate. Procrastination can be an enemy as it traps us in a sort of limbo, where nothing is being done. Often I find when I am procrastinating, I have set myself too large a task. A way to get through this is to break a big task down into small chunks. I am a big believer in the “what’s the next step?” mentality.

Imagine your kitchen. You have no dishwasher and last Friday you had a dinner party. You were too tired to wash your dishes after all your guests had left and so you left them by the side of the sink. On Saturday and Sunday, you added to the pile and now by Monday, you have no clean cups left for your morning coffee. You feel depressed.

Just commit to cleaning all the coffee cups and glasses. Don’t tackle the whole washing pile. Then tell yourself that after your coffee, you’ll tackle the cutlery, then the next day you might tackle the rest, or part of the rest.

Make a decision

A friend of mine recently gave up smoking. He said to me that the hardest part about this was making the final decision to quit. Once he committed to that decision, things flowed more easily for him. Often making the decision to do something can be the hardest part. Never look to the end, always look for the next step.

Begin to research

Often the next step is simply researching something. However, do not get stuck on this phase. Decide how long your researching should last, then make an action plan to act on it. For example, researching the best apple pie recipe might take you an afternoon and researching the best college course to do might take you a couple of weeks. Do not endlessly research; make a decision!

Invest in yourself

Investing in yourself comes in two ways: time and money. Never give too little too much of these valuable resources to yourself, you need to be spending just the right amount. Too little time on yourself and you will never get ahead because you will always be chasing your tail. Too much time and you will be bored and restless. Too much money spent on yourself will make you anxious. Too little will make you feel cheated and bitter.

How much to you deserve? Imagine yourself to be another person. What value would you place on that entity? Try to be unemotional when imagining yourself as a being with needs, goals and wants. Give to yourself as much as you would give to others.

Read information from experts

Start reading about what you want to do. This is relevant whether it’s something big or small. Remember, though, that not everything you read will be correct. Some things you read may be plain wrong, some things may just be someone’s opinion. Online research is very important but it’s not everything. Get to know your local library: they will give you books and videos for free (you will have to give them back!).


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