Are men in their 40s still attractive? Dating men over 40

Do you think that younger women think that men over 40 are attractive? I have to be very, very careful as I write this because I am now married and my husband is only 35 and sexy as. But I will delve into the various statistics and studies here on the subject of why men in their 40s are attractive, and how in many ways, they are nearing their attractiveness peak.

More self-confident

Older men know a thing or two about sounding confident. The older we get the less we care what others think of us. We enter a phase of “not caring” in that we have earned our right to be present in conversations and have our points heard. Once men reach their 40s, they are more confident in who they are, what they stand for and their own morals and ethics.

Once men reach the age of 40 they have more confidence than they did in their 20s and 30s. By age 40 you know who you are and what you have to offer the world – there is no longer any need to apologise for being you.

Still young enough to be a father

“Sexual attractiveness has never just been about looks — and looks do not go to poop at 39! It’s about attitude and confidence and intelligence and wit and charm and, subconsciously, fertility,” says UK’s The Telegraph. “A recent study found that 52% of respondents believe that men gain allure as they reach 40 — and 39+ men are still viewed as sex symbols, not father-types.”

Yes, it’s true. At age 40 men are still able to be fathers without the hazard of the biological clock that women have to suffer. It sucks, but that’s life, and why God is probably a man.

Still physically attractive

Are men in their 40s still attractive? Dating men over 40 | Couple

At age 40 men are still usually very physically attractive and often still gain the attention of women when out and about. In one survey on male attractiveness, 54% of the survey respondents said men “not being chatted up on nights out” was the clearest sign they no longer existed, sexually, according to The Telegraph. “The other “signs” are greying hair, double chins, thinning hair and having bad teeth.”

At age 40 you really are still quite physically attractive, particularly if you have been wise and looked after yourself and lived a reasonably healthy lifestyle. So, Do women really find older men attractive? Check out this blog post for more info. There are so many reasons that men over 40 are still so attractive.

Are you dating a man over 50? Check out Are men in their 50s still attractive? Dating men over 50

More self-assured

According to, “Men over 40 will try to do everything they didn’t get the chance to do during their younger years. They don’t have to worry about social, career or economic problems, thus, they can reach their goals more easily,” according to the website. “Even though they deny it, being middle-aged makes men more outgoing and they want to spend as much time as they can having sex.”

Men over 40 are often simply more self-assured than their younger brothers. They know what strengths they have and how to play to them. They are often better listeners too, and don’t feel the need to dominate the conversation like a younger, less self-assured man might. Men over 40 have so much to offer.

Own house, own car, own job

Another good thing about dating men over 40 is that they usually have more “material” possessions under their belts. While material possessions do not a solid relationship make, having them never hurts and allows people to focus on other aspects of the relationship, rather than striving to make ends meet. By the age of 40 most people will have had a few good jobs, hopefully a career, may have acquired property or necessary things such as a car, a retirement fund and a few savings.

However, some men may simply not want to share. One commenter on the Date Like a Grown Up blog named Greg says, “The biggest reason why I don’t want to date, and my male friends express the same sentiment, is that we fear losing our financial investments to a failed relationship. Let’s face it, at 42 years old we don’t want to be starting fresh mortgages or having to pay alimony. We are proud of our achievements and want to now invest in retiring early to enjoy life.”

So, all men over 40, take heart

Yes, there is plenty of hope for you. “Men and women are different in many ways,” says relationships expert Bobbi Palmer, “but we’re more the same than you may think. And this is especially true as we get older. We all have dating disappointments and horror stories.”

Alyce’s advice? Dating after 40 can be a lot of fun. Be honest with yourself and others and have a good time.


  • Been there says:

    I have to disagree with your reasoning. There are also a lot of single men in their 40s who are broke, jobless, in debt (with no assets) and are painfully insecure, only some of them are divorced. It’s far too easy to find 40+ men who are extremely bitter towards women and life in general who bring a sense of entitlement to everything, the net is full of their comments and nasty articles aimed at women. Offline these guys are not pleasant to be around, many have money, legal and substance abuse problems. The men you describe are not the majority women are meeting in real life and in general when an older man doesn’t have his life together the question is asked is there still time for him to do so if he hasn’t figured it out by now. Loved and lost is a far better prospect than someone who appears incapable of it.

    Crossing an age milestone doesn’t automatically put you in one category or another of anything, it’s how you take care of yourself and your life, no one wants to date a 40+ man who hates the world and never progressed beyond an adolescent world view, nor one who thinks superficial achievements entitles him to be arrogant and careless.

    A man who has paid attention to himself, his life and the people around him, who has empathy and cares about and connects with people (not just pretends to in order to get something), who is mature and level headed not running around chasing fantasies and making a fool of himself is a man who will be appealing to women regardless of the generation they belong to. It’s when men have unrealistic expectations they shoot themselves in the foot, few women want to date angry men, financially irresponsible men, childish men or men who take them for granted. Very few younger women would look at an older man twice too yet a lot of men seem to think when a woman talks to him she is interested in sleeping with him, it’s as though after a certain age women can’t have a normal conversation with men anymore because men think they’re being hit on.

    What I’m saying is if a man is feeling he’s out of the game he should get his house in order before he starts expecting women to take an interest in him, if he meets someone along the way great but to complain all the time about how hard done by he is because women aren’t interested while doing nothing to improve his circumstances is a very unattractive trait, almost as unattractive as blaming women for not liking it.

    • Alyce Vayle says:

      Hi Been There-

      Too right! I 100% agree with your reasoning. You are correct, many people who are long-term single can become bitter – we all know someone like this. Also, if you are single for a long time – there is probably a good reason. Partners act like our “mirror” – they assist us with seeing and correcting bad behaviour. Without someone to reflect us back to ourselves, what chance do we have? I just finished a book called Cocoa At Midnight. Set in 1909 – 1955, the author finds love in her late 30s, with a man in his early 40s, set around the 1930s. She mentions that the London boarding houses are full of ageing and alone men in their later years, having never found a direction or a wife.

      Thanks again for your very insightful comments and have a wonderful week.


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