depressed man

When Does Sadness Become Depression?

. Alyce's Diary, Relationships . , , , , , , , , , ,

I just got nothing today.

Nothing at all. This is not a post about writer’s block, this is a post about emptiness. I feel like life has lost its lustre, but I can’t be too despondent here because I don’t want to cry. I want to be positive.

It’s really hard to keep looking on the Brightside. I have had trouble with negative-self-talk before, so it’s nothing new for me. I guess that I feel sad because even though things are generally good in my life, I’m feeling a bit like the world has lost its colour and that there’s nothing to live for.

Yeh – it’s not fun.

sad girl

Of course, even though I feel like that today – it’s not necessarily true. In fact, it’s not true at all. I have to keep reminding myself that My Thoughts Are Not My Reality.

By brain is not me, my heart is not me. I remember being taught in high school that back in Shakespeare’s time, feelings of love were thought to come from the liver, not the heart. One of my favourite Shakespeare plays is The Twelfth Night. Here is the liver quote:

Alas, their love may be called appetite,
No motion of the liver, but the palate,
That suffer surfeit, cloyment, and revolt.
But mine is all as hungry as the sea,
And can digest as much.

Liver, heart, brain, amygdala – I’m not sure which part of my cursed body is responsible for flooding me with these terrible, distressing feelings day and night. I found a post yesterday that mentioned that when we go through something traumatic (in my case a break up) our minds have to process the information and this can be distressing.

I have to remind myself that these feelings are normal. This is ok. I don’t have to feel happy all the time. It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to feel desolate. Hang on… do you think I’m depressed?

I found a post on About.com on called Sadness is Not Depression. Phew! They provide some useful tips on how to be sad, the healthy way (really!):

  1. Allow yourself to be sad.
  2. If you are feeling sad, plan a sadness day. “Plan a day or evening just to be alone, listen to melancholy music, and to observe your thoughts and feelings.”
  3. Think about the context of the sad feelings.
  4. Sadness can result from a change that you didn’t expect, or it can signal the need for      a change in your life.
  5. Know when sadness turns into depression.

Personally, I couldn’t think of anything WORSE for me now than “planning a sadness day”. What a crappy idea. Even writing this sadness blog post is depressing the f**k out of me.

Anyway – the last time I felt so truly awful I did go to see a doctor. They did the same thing they always do and tell me I’m fine, which I know I am. My depression/sadness is always linked to an actual event in my life, and never lasts for more than a few months. This has only happened about 4 times in my adult life, and only once did I really let it get on top of me, and that was when I was separated form my family and friends as I was living interstate.

But am I depressed or sad?

Another great article from the Huffington Post – telling me that it’s OK to be sad, and that sadness is not depression. Depression is this:

To have a diagnosable “major depressive disorder” you must have at least one of two particular symptoms — called “cardinal” symptoms. Deep sadness (“depressed mood”) is one of the two cardinal symptoms. The other is called “anhedonia” (Greek for “without pleasure”), which means not taking pleasure in pretty much anything, even in things that used to give you pleasure — your work, your hobbies, your grandchildren, your friends, etc.

Don’t end up in a cycle!

The article seesm to tell me the only danger is not to get into a depressive cycle – but I’m not in danger of that. In a away – I’m kind of glad I am allowing myself to feel my feelings. I know I will get though this very sad period. It’s only a matter of time.

Photos by Kurt Komoda and obaxterlovo thank you!

trying not to love you

How Long Does it Take to Get Over a Break Up?

. Random Alyce . , , , , , , , , ,

I have been avoiding a break up for the past ten years. Basically I never got over my very first love, who I split with by the time I was only 22. Since then I have had several long-term relationships, but I always kept my partners at arm’s length. I had a five year relationship with a man I never called my boyfriend, who never wanted to commit, and I had two on-again off-again relationships with people who were more like very close male friends.

In this way, I was able to avoid putting my heart out there and connecting with someone on a deep level. I needed to do this because I was so hurt after loss number one. When I was 22 I had few emotional reserves to deal with my grief – so I shelved it. I put the grief aside; I shoved it under the rug, held it under my pillow and disguised the pain inside me. I pretended that I wasn’t in pain and I almost convinced myself.

It’s only now after going through my first ‘real’ breakup that I have truly been able to grieve for the loss of this first relationship. I realized that I had been carrying a lot of pain inside for a very long time, and for no good reason. But now, I am having immense trouble moving on from my last relationship. It’s only been two months, but I still feel so distraught every day, I feel like I need to work out how to get over this break up once and for all.

sad woman

But do I still love my ex?

Well the good news is: maybe no. I feel like I am pining for someone but one of the best resources I could find on this topic was from a site called Getting Past Your Breakup. I think I need to read more of this site. Here’s what they say: Know that grieving someone and missing them does not necessarily mean you want them. It means you hurt because you’ve had a loss. Perhaps that loss is the best thing but it’s still a loss. Don’t mistake grief for love.

Got that? Don’t mistake grief for love.

I am grieving, hardcore. I am an emotional wreck and still very fragile and confused. But this doesn’t actually mean I need my ex back at all. In fact, I really don’t think I want that. I really just want this pain to let go of me.

More from GPYB: ‘It’s normal and natural to grieve any loss…even if the relationship was the worst in the world. Don’t let your grief cause you to second guess your feelings. Part of the grief process is “review and relinquishment” where it is necessary to process through the relationship. Unfortunately this review comes in the form of having the ex on your mind constantly. It’s a “working through” and it doesn’t mean you’re not going to get over it, or that you still love the ex. It means your mind is doing the work it needs to do to process through it and get over it’.

Make a Top 5 Break Up list

Another interesting idea I thought might work is to make a list of the top 5 reasons I broke up with my ex and to place it somewhere where I can see it every day. It’s in this post-breakup-period that I am romanticizing the past and seeing things through rose coloured glasses. I need to remember that there were very good reasons why we split.

Lindsay Colip wrote a nice heartfelt piece on The Prysm: ‘We broke up with our partners because deep down we knew it wasn’t right for us. At some point along the way our heart and soul screamed out to us to move on and we actually listened. We are enlightened miles ahead of others who stay in relationships because they’re comfortable, or easy, or convenient’.

I could have stayed. He could have stayed. But it was not right and things had to change. I am grateful for the opportunity to move forward, even though the pain is so intense. I know this is doing me good.

The pain of destructive, abusive relationships

My ex was a rotten guy. Forgive me that statement while I grieve, because it helps me to move on. In truth, he is a very wonderful person, but the relationship was destructive, not just to both of us, but to everyone around us. My ex was fond of starting emotional fires and then running for the hills, taking the only extinguisher, but fanning the flames from his hilltop.

I found a post on splitting the good and bad traits of your partners. The good parts of my ex were so wonderfully good, but the bad elements of his personality made him impossible to be around. I have written several posts on this, including 7 Signs You Are Dating an Asshole, which has been one of my most popular posts (lots of people search that sentence, apparently!).

See things as they are, not as you would like them to be

I constantly justified my ex’s abusive behaviour towards me and others (I have seen him yell at everyone from his father to his real estate agent) and I told myself it was just a phase. I constantly ignored what was, for what I would like it to be.

Susan J. Elliott wrote a post on this too: ‘In your mind you hold onto what you HAD while ignoring what you HAVE. You tell yourself this is not the real person, the one you fell in love with is. But the person you fell in love with has not been around in a long time and the person who fell in love with you and treated you so well (as loving partners are supposed to do) is GONE. And gone for good. Even if he or she appears for a time, that’s not okay for the way they are treating you now is unacceptable. So stop holding out hope. The present person you are seeing is an ass and that is not okay’.

And now a nod to my ex

Wherever you are. He did say many lovely things to me, and here’s one which rings true:

Let’s turn this bitter harvest into something grand.

I am paraphrasing him there – and he didn’t mean together. A time of pain and growth can be an enormously fruitful time, even though it hurts. I have written a lot, I’m sure my ex is writing a lot of music, and I’m sure we have both grown and continue to grow.

Photo by Trang Angels

crikey

Radio: Fewer Stars, More Marketing Integration

. Articles and News, Radio . , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It’s not the same game for radio announcers any more, writes freelance journalist Alyce Vayle. Broadcasters are more concerned about cross-platform integration — but is the sector becoming boring?

The value of on-air stars to radio networks is diminishing. The companies that pay the bills are much more important.

“It’s less ‘show business’ and more ‘business’,” Ryan Khay, program director of Mix, an Austereo station in Queensland’s Sunshine Coast, told Crikey. “A program director needs to be sales friendly and understand all the elements of the game.”

Gone are the days of fat announcer pay cheques. In fact, more often than announcers care to admit, wages are the same today as 15 years ago. Many announcers are forced to take on multiple roles (such as working in copywriting, promotions or programming) in order to earn a decent wage and enjoy job security.

Sean Craig Murphy, drive announcer and tutor at the Australian Radio School, put it simply: “Radio was fat. It had to get lean.”

Broadcasting stalwart Brian Carlton recently said goodbye to the media industry after 29 years of service, saying “the media is in a massive period of contraction. There has to be more to life than year-by-year contracts.” Radio legend (and voice of City Rail) Grant Goldman stated resolutely “most guys I know earn between $40,000 and $45,000 per year”. A dismal prospect indeed for the thousands of media graduates hoping for a broadcasting career.

Program directors and general managers know there’s no shortage of fresh, cheap talent. Khay says he receives at least 100 airchecks each year from announcers looking for a job; Murphy reports ”phenomenal” demand at the Australian Radio School.

It’s not the same game for announcers any more. As social media and new platforms emerge there is more need for content to be directed and “purchased” by corporations and advertisers, via collaborations, promotions and integration. On-air content is much more structured than it was in the past: chances are, if you’ve heard something on air it’s been designed to generate greater revenue.

“Our clients need to be everywhere our audience is having a conversation,” said Kate Beddoe, national digital director at the Australian Radio Network. “That means every device and every platform — from on-air to Facebook.”

And the creative content is often integrated too. “We will find more ways to integrate the listening experience with new technology and social media as it continues to evolve,” said Khay.

Mark Collier, head of radio at the Australian Film, Television and Radio School, says spinning tunes is no longer the primary skill. “Over the last five years there has been a requirement for training in cross platforms, including social media,” he said.

“The industry has become more adept at using its commercial and non-commercial space to create more effective commercial

‘cut-through’ and content.”

Recent events like the 2Day FM nurse prank scandal have shown how important it is for networks to “think” before they open the mic. With advertisers ready to pull out (and stations now voluntarily pulling them) in times of crisis, there is less room for announcers to “speak their minds” for fear of upsetting the corporate dollar.

It hasn’t always been that way. “When I started [in the 1970s] there were no formal qualifications as such,” said Trevor Sinclair, from 2CH Drive on the Macquarie Media Network, home of controversial Sydney station 2GB. Professionalism, new ideas and strategic maximisation of potential profits is now so important that AFTRS has added a 12-week “strategic radio sales” course to its curriculum. The jobs are in sales, marketing and integration.

Looking for better ways to make money out of radio is nothing new, but with profits continuing to slide — and networking and less localisation becoming the norm — some stalwart announcers fear the medium could become “a sanitised and beige industry” where announcers are muzzled by the brands advertised on the networks.

So is it dollars over “free” creative content? “The industry has become more adept at using its commercial and non-commercial space to create more effective commercial ‘cut-through’ and content,” said David Hefter, national sales director at ARN. ”Integration has been the buzzword.”

In 2013 networks can’t simply put a program, an announcer, a competition or a song on air and cross their fingers: everything is planned. “The other shift has been towards greater integration of well-thought-out and planned promotions or campaigns so as to make the message more interactive for the listener and to get them to engage with the product or service,” said Hefter.

Collier is concerned with making sure his graduates understand that working in broadcasting is not all about being a “star”.

So will the traditional radio “jock” become obsolete? Some believe that they just have to prepare to adapt. “The market is looking for more cross-platform integration using on-air talent in the digital age we now live in. Our clients are looking for true partnerships and multiplatform communications solutions, not just a radio schedule,” said Michelle Thomas, ARN campaigns and activations director.

For now creative content is safe, but announcers still need to be aware of the changing landscape of on-air content, and how it is structured, planned — and paid for.

Writer’s note: This article was originally published on the website Crikey.com.au

To read the original, please click here.

miso soup

Can You Drink Miso Soup to Lose Weight Like Peaches Geldof Did?

. Articles and News, Dieting and Weightloss, Vegan stuff . , , , , , , , , , , ,

Miso Soup. Do you love it? Have you ever tried it? It’s very popular these days and you can get it almost anywhere. To the uninitiated, it is a traditional Japanese soup which is made from a stock of miso paste. Miso paste is a ‘dashi’ (sort of like stock) of miso. How do you make miso? You get fermented rice, barley and soybeans and then you ferment them with salt and fungus!

What do you mean, that doesn’t sound nice! It’s dee-lish!

Typically there are a few ways to get your miso fix – you can usually get a cup of pre-made hot miso from a Japanese restaurant or sushi joint. They are a dime a dozen where I live in Sydney. If they are scarce where you live – you need to go to your local Asian grocery store or supermarket. Miso is either sold in a powder or a paste, and you mix it with hot water and it’s ready to drink.

miso soup

This is my homemade miso soup!

Often packeted varieties have tofu, seaweed or other things added. You can always add them yourself too. One of my favourite combinations is quality miso paste, hot water, brown rice, fresh chunks of firm tofu and shallots. Dinner is ready in minutes (provided your rice is pre-cooked) and it’s healthy, vegan, low fat, full of nutrients and good for you!

Peaches Geldof loses weight with miso soup

peaches geldof

I love the Geldof girls, if just for their names (which they incidentally hate) her sisters are called Fifi Trixibell, Little Pixie and Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. On a side note she named her second daughter Phaedra which people are saying is unusual, but it is a gorgeous, traditional Greek name. Peaches is only in here early 20s and has just given birth to her second baby and she looks gorgeous and lovely – if a little on the thin side – but I am not one to judge other women’s bodies. She looks great and if she’s happy – I’m happy for her.

The British press put Peaches’ miso diet under the microscope

“She claimed that her new figure was due a bout with avian flu, which was followed by a new habit of eating healthily. Also, she expressed a newfound appreciation for miso soup and would reportedly take an hour to eat just one bowl. Peaches has revealed to The Sun that she’s put herself on a strict liquid diet and doesn’t eat solids for up to a month at a time.”

eating lady

The Sun and The Mail rave about miso soup to lose weight

When The Sun does something, The Mail does too, or is the other way around? I can’t tell from the antipodes. At any rate, The Mail gave a scathing review of Peaches’ miso diet: “Peaches likes spicy Asian broths – they are low in calories but the spices help her to feel full,’ says a pal. But while Peaches insists she still eats ‘like a horse’, spies say that when she popped into the Busaba Eathai Thai restaurant in Shepherds Bush, West London, last week, she spent more than an hour nursing a bowl of soup.”

I don’t recommend taking this to extremes, but I do recommend miso

Last year I went to see a nutritionist for some advice on correct nutrition for vegans. He was happy that I was eating miso soup, as it’s a healthy snack which is low in calories. Miso soup varies, but a typical powered pack will only net you 30 or 40 calories. It does contain a lot of sodium, however. It’s considered a high-sodium food, so some people are cautioned against eating a lot of it.

Have miso as a snack whenever you feel hungry. I have started to drink miso at about 10:30 am and 3:30 pm – when I would normally be reaching for cookies and candy. The miso warms me up and makes me feel full. It’s also lovely and salty and keeps my taste buds happy.

The miso/sodium controversy

According to The World’s Healthiest Foods, ‘Miso is typically considered to be a high-sodium food, since one teaspoon of miso often contains 200-300 milligrams of sodium. However, recent research has shown that in spite of its high-sodium content, miso does not appear to affect our cardiovascular system in the way that other high-sodium foods sometimes can.’

Can miso keep colds away?

Some people even believe that drinking miso soup can help to keep colds and flu away, saying that it works like chicken soup. According to The Benefits of Miso it also soothes acid in the system, so it can help to combat viral infections.

Photo credits: bookchen

trains

Bad Manners on Public Transport: How to Catch a Sydney Train

. Alyce's Diary, Lists of Stuff . , , , , , , ,

Public transport: I get it every day and it sucks. I live in the beautiful city of Sydney, Australia. No one can deny how gloriously beautiful Sydney is – but I have one bugbear that I’d like to rant about today.

Sydney trains

No one likes catching the train to work. If I had my choice, I would be driven in a white Maserati by Clive Owen every day. Sadly, I’m stuck on the train. I don’t have to go far, but the three stops I make each morning are usually the low point of my day. Why? Well people are rude. Almost being like stuck in peak hour on the road – there is a public transport peak hour too. People can be pushy, grumpy and rude. And I have noticed there are a few simple rules that people are breaking that they should not be.

clive owen

I am not Queen of the Universe

But I still think that good manners are important. I sometimes display very poor manners myself, and I have been known to be pushy during my morning commute too. I am going o try to move more slowly this week and to try to be more polite and considerate.

And you can’t use your iphone on a Sydney train. Pfft!

According to my local rag, the Sydney Morning Herald: As of last week, train passengers are able to make calls, send texts and browse the web while hurtling through tunnels in the City Circle after one of the big phone companies completed a multi-million-dollar project to provide coverage in one of Sydney’s annoying blackspots.

I hate the blackspots I come across. When a Sydney train goes into a tunnel, you lose all reception on your phone. It drives people crazy.

sydney train

It’s not just me who is annoyed

I love trawling the web for grumpy reviews. Here is one from Danielle of New South Wales on Yelp: The other thing I want to add was the state of the trains – Graffiti everywhere…. it would give a tourist the impression that public transport is just designed for people who belong to street gangs! Not cool Sydney, not cool!!! If you’re gonna charge people $15.80 to be a passenger – can we at least give tourists a false impression that our transport is super modern and clean…. I was embarrassed and want to apologies to any tourist who gets this as this first impression.

So what are my suggestions?

1. Stand to the left on the escalator. There is a walking line and a standing line. Do not stand ion the walking line or you block traffic. Do not stand at all unless you are old, infirm, pregnant or a holding the hand of a child. Get your legs moving, Sydney!

2. Don’t stop walking when you reach the top of the escalator as you will cause a traffic jam

3. Cover your mouth when you cough and sneeze

4. DO NOT cough and sneeze loudly -– it’s so gross when some dude sneezes at the top of his voice on the train. It scares the hell out of people. Manners, please. Be as quiet as you can be.

5. Turn your headphones down. I don’t want to hear you listening to Taylor Swift

6. Stand to the left – again. I cannot stress this enough

7. Move RIGHT INSIDE the carriage – otherwise other people can’t get on the train

8. Do not eat smelly food on the train – ok I do this all the time. But I should not, because it’s gross and it bothers people.

food

9. To not kiss your partner in front of me – look, I’m all for romance, but it’s just a bit gross on the train. Can’t you wait until you get off? Think of those of us who may be heartbroken.

10. Make sure your kids sit still. Do not let them climb all over the place – I like kids but they need to be taught how to behave on public transport. Your kids should be your responsibility so do not let them infringe on my space please.

11. Have your ticket out, ready to put in the ticket machine – don’t fumble in your pocket or purse – plan your next move and keep us all moving quickly.

12. If you can’t find your ticket, stand to the side until you can – nobrainer.

13. Stand to the left – again. Stand to the freaking left.

14. If you have a big suitcase, take the lift – don’t block the escalator. I don’t care if you think you are Mr. Muscles. If your stroller, trolley or suitcase is going to block the escalator – take the lift.

15. Stand to the left – please. Please stand to the left.

(Photo by herbrm: thanks!)

Ok rant over. What are your pet peeves on public transport?

 

office lady

How to Identify Your Point of Difference

. Careers and Work . , , , , , , , ,

Think of yourself as a brand. Think of your job skills as product features and brand attributes.

What makes your brand different?

If you need customers (in this case, a “customer” is a potential employer) then you need to show why your “brand” is the best, and why they should not even consider another brand.

This is a vital part of your marketing strategy, as mentioned in section A. If you work out your Point of Difference (your POD) you will be one step closer to positioning yourself correctly within the marketplace. You will work out essentially:

success

WHAT you’ve GOT and WHO can USE it

You need to keep this simple. Make the message as uncluttered as possible to find out what will connect with your customers.

It needs to be simple and concise. Down load your free worksheet here: How to Identify Your POD_worksheet_alycevayleauthor2013

Exercise 1: Analyze Your Customer

What are your customer’s needs and desires?

  • Get to know your customer.
  • Do up a customer profile.
  • 5 Key words to describe the customer.
  • Think about this: what do they really want from you and your competitors’ products and services? Think of 3 main things.
  • Think about what the customer’s rationale is. Why do they need these particular things from their products? Customers will be loyal to a brand that they feel emotionally attached to. How can you engender this feeling in your job search?
  • To help you with this, think of brands or businesses you are loyal to and ask yourself why. Are they up-to-date, a good fit, always on time, always consistent? Think of attributes and characters that you have that can be unique selling points.

thumbs up

Exercise 2: Identify Your Strengths, Think about Competitors’ Weaknesses

  • You may not have any idea about who your competition will be, but try to create a picture of them in your mind anyway. Would your competitor be male or female? Would he or she be older or younger than you? Would they have better industry knowledge, sharper technical skills?
  •  Now think of how you can trump them. What do you have to offer that is special, different and unique. You may not have impeccable Dreamweaver and Flash skills, but maybe you are great at spotting trends? Maybe you have a terrific contacts list? Write 10 – 20 things you are good at.
  • Now cut the list down. For this exercise, we don’t need to come up with a very lengthy list. Focus on your top 2-4 attributes and really work on fleshing them out here with 2 or 3 good sentences you can remember for later.

Exercise 3: Your Features and Benefits

  • The next thing you need to do is look at your key features as if you were a commodity. What does your product do or what does your service provide that has benefits to your customer?
  • Think of your FEATURES: a feature is a factual statement about you, for example, “Has a degree in Marketing.”
  • Think of your BENEFITS: a benefit is the part that lets the employer know what’s in it for them, for example, “Has specialised knowledge of Marketing Strategies and Consumer Behaviour.”
  • You must link your customer to you by linking your BENEFITS to their VALUES. Write the top 3 or 4 matching points.
  • Think of two reasons why your benefits outweigh your competitors’ benefits.
  • Contact others who have dealt with you. See if ex-colleagues or bosses can help you to identify what they saw as your essential selling points.

Exercise 4: Uncovering Your POD

3 columns: Client’s Expectation versus your competitors, versus your skills

  • Price, salary
  • Age, gender, market
  • Training, degree, study
  • Features
  • Benefits
  • Availability
  • Customer service or management skills etc.
  • Flexibility
  • The employee’s story (how, why or where they do business)

In conclusion:

When you define your points of difference and market them well, getting yourself noticed is easier.

Photos by gcoldironjr2003 seeveeaar and One Way Stock: thanks!

be nice to yourself

Taking Charge of My Life by Telling Myself a Better “Personal-Story”

. Alyce's Diary, Relationships . , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I have been having trouble with some negative self talk lately, and it’s getting out of hand. I have discussed this problem on my blog before, but I am finding this a constant struggle. I have recently split with my partner, whom I loved very much, and I am still feeling very emotional and distraught.

Broken heart syndrome

I actually read an article about “broken heart syndrome” where a perfectly healthy 34 year old man had a heart attack after his partner left him. He just passed out at work one day, and doctors discovered that he seemed to have a temporary inflammatory heart disease. This was affecting his heart muscle, and he had a mini-heart attack.

Wait…you can actually DIE from a broken heart?

I am serious. Read it for yourself! I honestly have been wondering if I have this syndrome, but I feel too silly to go to the doctor about it. I think the problem has been that I have been negatively talking to myself about this situation, and making it harder for myself to move on. I have been toiling over the things I did wrong, stewing over some things I think he did wrong, and generally obsessing in a way that has made the last few weeks absolute hell.

Negative talk: I don’t mean to do this. I just can’t seem to stop.

sad finger

I found a great post on one of my favourite blogs Penelope Trunk, where she talks about “Managing your image by telling good stories”. She is talking about this from a work/careers aspect, but it resonated with me – thinking that this technique would certainly work for relationships too. She suggests to talk about yourself how you want yourself to be and to focus on the future, rather than where you have just been.

Penelope says: The stories we tell make an enormous difference in how we cope with change.

I will directly quote from the article here: Creating a story that resonates helps us believe in ourselves. We need a good story to reassure us that our plans make sense — that, in [making our next step], we are not discarding everything we have worked so hard to accomplish. A story gives us motivation to help us endure frustration, suffering and hard work.

Tell people about your new life

So, I have decided to work on my inner story, and to change the dialogue to something more positive. It’s not enough to just speak to yourself, either. Apparently to really make these changes real, you need to envision yourself in a new phase of your life by telling people about it.

I am in a New Phase of My Life

(And so are you!)

Here’s what I used to say, and what I am saying to myself now instead:

The Old Story The New Story
I feel so sad to be   alone I am surrounded by   people who love me
I have been rejected I have freed myself   to walk new paths
I miss this   person I am whole as myself
I am angry about   things that have happened I let go of past   hurt
I am guilty about   the things I did wrong I truly forgive   myself
He left me We mutually decided   to split, because we were both unhappy

 

Taking charge of my life and my emotions

And you know what? The “New Story” is actually far more accurate anyway! I have been feeling bad because I have been indulging these feelings (whether subconsciously or consciously) and telling myself a negative story. I am now taking charge of my life, not just reacting to what comes along.

Getting to my next point

Because my story is not over, far from it. There will be other lovers and other cuddles, more days and nights, more happy times and sad. I continue to live, and I am so grateful for this opportunity to open my heart just a little bit more.

Photos by by pinprick and swpave : thanks!